Thursday, October 19, 2006
Demand to Submit By: Jaci Burton
Demand to Submit
By: Jaci Burton
Published By: Ellora’s Cave 2006
Score: 2 out of 5
Waia is trapped and starving in a cage. Her DNA changed to that of a submissive and she sees no way out. She is rescued by a sweet woman who has seen this before. They have been on the tale of these scientists for a while and have not caught them yet. Everyone else on the tiny island is dead and so they take Waia back with them. The team is unable to do anything to save her. They are forced to take her to Dargon if they want to see her live.
Kyr. The submissive trainer on Dargon is loveless, yet happy with his own existence. He is the only trainer to submissives that have been through this change. When he meets Waia, he feels her natural submissive nature, that goes beyond her changed DNA. But, she is at war with herself. He has to teach her to submit because she wants to submit. Teach her to stop warring with herself and convince her of her own self worth.
Waia doesn’t want to be trained. Every new instinct she has screams for her to let Kyr have his way with her. She’s never experienced an orgasm before, but the idea of pleasing her trainer brings her more pleasure than she has ever known. Still, he won’t cave. He won’t let her please him until she learns to find pleasure herself. So begins the training.
I read a story written by Jaci Burton once before. Although, it was told well, it needed some work. The plot in Demand to Submit was not what I would have expected. In the course of my writing career I have researched many genre’s, curious of how they worked. The one thing I find most often when it comes to sci-fi, fantasy, paranormal and the list goes on is believability. A writer can set a story into any time period they want. Create new races of people, food, rules… anything. The only question that remains, is, is it believable? If the story could be written in the here and now why bother writing it in the future or past?
Demand to Submit is one of those stories that could have easily been written in 21st century America. There are sub trainers all over the place and even more so in San Francisco. You don’t have to go to another planet to find the Master of all Master’s. Poly relationships exist everywhere and are easy to find.
What made Dargon so unbelievable was the fact that there was nothing about this planet that made it different from anywhere else. Everything that made up this planet was used to the writer’s advantage to have what we could have all gotten here at home. I saw nothing that could have been considered world building. The only difference, possibly, was the guy with two penises. Maybe if more had been added to the world it would have made more sense.
Waia’s war with herself was anything but believable. I do give Jaci applause for at least trying this. Showing a war with oneself is difficult enough without having to make it apparent to the reader. Because, I felt the writer was withdrawn from the story it made it difficult for me to relate to the characters. Not only that, but all of the narration when we should have been completely in Waia and Kyr’s head didn’t make sense to me. Kyr was your typical Master. Do as I say and no one gets punished. I saw nothing in him that stood out above the rest. He enjoys a poly relationship and shows no remorse for that. If Kyr would have stayed true to his poly lifestyle through the entire story, then it would have been more believable. I did like the fact that he was bi-sexual. Stories of this nature are not written often.
The other issue to me, was that I saw no character growth through the story. The bad guys lost, but Waia still did not seem to trust Kyr anymore than at the beginning of the story. And to be totally honest here, I’m not even sure what Kyr’s dilemma was. As a final comment on the story, I would like to say that, I felt there were many changes made to this book than it’s original written story line. I think if Jaci would have stayed true to what she truly wanted to write, instead of writing a story she felt others would have wanted to read, she might have been able to write a more believable novella.
Posted by Miranda Heart ::
12:47 PM ::
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